A long, long time ago, on a blog far, far away...

was the last time I posted. :)

Honestly, I don't know where to start. These last few months have been crazy for several reasons. One, I'm *intently* working on my senior year of high school, and it has been keeping me very busy. Two, the remedies that I've been taking to help balance out my hormones are finally working; but it has been a very bumpy ride, and probably will be for a few more months. Three, I'm working through a lot of decisions about college, distance learning, and various careers right now. Fourth, God has been teaching me a lot these past two months, most of it painful (bittersweet). So, if you wanted to know why it has taken me so long to update... look no further. :-)

Lately God has been teaching me to trust His timing and His love. I have reached a point - God has brought me to this point - where I am finally beginning to trust Him without reservation. Like many others, I'm prone to believe that I can do a better job running my life than He could. That stems from lies that I've believed... lies about myself and about God. Honestly, it has been very hard for me to believe in, much less trust, the amazing love of God. Yet I know, in my sane moments, that our heavenly Father loves us more than even our parents, our brothers and sisters, or our closest friends do. Another lie that I am prone to believe is that God doesn't really care about what we do on a daily basis, that He isn't concerned with our daily struggles or decisions. Both of those lies have caused a lot of pain, and a lot of confusion, for a lot of years. But God's Word (the Bible), and the truth that I find there, are helping me to look at life through a clearer perspective.

Life is so much easier when we stop trying to make things happen in our own time. I have found that, for all my worrying, my pleading, my planning, my regrets, and my hopes -- I still can't turn back time, and I'm still not God. You'd think those things would be obvious... but I'm a slow learner. :-) I'm specifically thinking of things like braces (wish I had had them years ago), high school (wish that I had done more when I started out, so that I wouldn't have to do the things that I'm doing now), college (in truth, sometimes I just wish that God would send me an e-mail with an itinerary for my life for the next 5 years... it would make things a whole lot simpler). But what is, is -- and what isn't, isn't. I'm learning to trust that that is okay, and to learn from mistakes I've made in the past.

Well, there is the serious post. I think I'll do a lighter one with less important stuff in a few minutes. ;)